I’m going to start a journal. Not a journal where you doodle, draw or write poetry and quotes. Not a diary where I write down my deepest and darkest thoughts and emotions. No, I’m going to start a memory journal.
Why?
I am visiting my grandma. Today we sat in the living room and talked for hours. Or she talked and I listened. It turns out she has had one of the most interesting lives I have ever heard of. There are so many interesting and even unbelievable things that happened in her life, it’s fascinating.
And through out her stories I started thinking - how amazing it would’ve been if she had written it all down, because there were some details or even whole events she couldn’t remember at all.
So, I decided, I will write a memory journal. Or a memoir, if I can call it that.
I will write my memoir, so when I’m old I can look back onto all the amazing things that I did with my life. I will write my memoir so it can be passed on to my children and grandchildren, so, when I’m gone, whenever they miss me or think of me, they can read about me.
I think we all should write our memoirs. Even if they’re never going to be made into a book and published. Because each and every one of us has a whole world inside us and all around us. And if everyone could be able to read about other people, their lives, thoughts and experiences, we could all understand each other and the world would be a much kinder place.
- Swim every day
- Ride my longboard/bike/skates every day
- Go to dance classes as often as possible
- Sleep in a tent
- Go camping
- Finish painting and decoration the attic of our barn
- Get fresh flowers every week (from local markets or meadows)
- Go for long walks in the forest
- Go on a lot of roadtrips all over Latvia
- Get a summer job (preferably at a coffee shop)
- Get a dog
- Finally get my drivers licence
- Organize an epic picnic for my name day
- Take yoga classes at my local fitness centre
- Take as many film photos as I can
- Foals - My Number
- Foals - Black Gold
- Foals - Spanish Sahara
- Novo Amor - From Gold
- Syd Matters - To All Of You
- Local Natives - Mt. Washington
- Alt-J - Something Good
- Sammy Jankis - Remember
- Message to Bears - Mountains
- Neon Indian - Annie
- No Vacation - Laundry Day
- No Vacation - Beach Bummer
- No Vacation - Dræm Girl
- Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Collapse
- Breton - Got Well Soon
- Amanda Palmer feat. Brian Biglione - In My Mind
- The Pesos - Heartbeat
- The Pesos - Hey Hey
- Angus & Julia Stone - Santa Monica Dream
- Bright Eyes - Lua
- The Moonlight Club - Words In Gold
- Private Island - Dissolve
- Private Island - Enough
- Private Island - Drugs
- Bad Suns - Cardiac Arrest
- Bad Suns - Salt
- Bad Suns - Daft Pretty Boys
- Mogwai - Kids Will Be Skeletons
- Parks, Squares and Alleys - Soft Clouds
I've been feeling quite weird lately. No, not weird, but distant, off beat, just really out of it. Not in a bad way, but not in a good one either.
Sometimes this feeling will leave me alone for a few weeks, and then just consume me for days. It's pretty hard to go on with everyday life in those days. I mean, feeling like there's no reason for me, for anyone to exist, thinking about how I'm just a single individual in a sea of different people, different lives, different stories. It's overwhelming but also somehow soothing.
I'm sitting in a train, looking through the window. I see people. Just people. Their bodies, their hair, clothes. But they are so much more than that. Each of them has a personality, a life. Family, friends, feelings. One of them just got married, one of them just lost a loved one. One of them has to drink anti-depressants, another is the happiest person alive. He's allergic to cats, she likes to drink her tea with honey, but hates sweet things.
Speculations, possibilities, some of them are true, some are not. But the truth is, they all are just like me. With problems, thoughts and feelings, happy and sad moments. Each different but somehow still the same.
I'm looking through the window. From outside I'm just another person in the train. Inside of me are thoughts, an ongoing war with myself, flowers growing in my mind. And I'm just a single person in this enermous sea of people.
But even all of us together are nothing. Because there is the whole universe, filled with things that we'll never see. Things, that are unreachable, unimaginable, that have existed uncountable years before us, and will exist as many after us. We all exist in a tiny piece of time, we mean nothing, we are nothing, but still, in a way, for each of our selves, we are everything.
And trying to wrap my mind around this idea, to really understand it, I feel is impossible.
It's a rainy day here in Latvia, I'm sitting on the sofa in my living room and writing this. Summer is almost over, and I feel like I've spent the past two months just sitting around and doing pretty much nothing. That's why today I decided to finally realize my idea of making a blog.
I thought that my first post should be something that tells a bit about myself, so here is a list of 10 facts about me (original, I know).
- That up there is me (about a year ago, but you get the idea). My name is Madara, and no, I was not named after a Naruto character. Madara is a flower that you can find practically in any meadow in Latvia.
- I'm 17, turning 18 this year, and I was born on Christmas Eve - 24th of December.
- My dream job is either a film director, cinematographer or a "National Geographic" photographer.
- I can honestly say, I'm a book-o-holic! I love books with my whole heart, the only problem is, I buy them faster than I can read them!
- Don't get me wrong, I love cats, but I'm definitely a dog person.
- My favorite colors are all the colors you can find in a sunset.
- I don't have any "common" fears like spiders, heights or needles. The only thing that really freaks me out are slugs.
- I went to music school for eight years and can play four instruments - piano, guitar, ukulele and a Latvian folk instrument kokle.
- I love thunderstorms! I find the sound of thunder extremely relaxing.
- My goal in life is to travel to as many countries and explore as much of the world as I can, and share my experience with other people.
That's it! I hope that, if anyone is actually reading this, you enjoyed this little insight into my life, and that you'll stick around!
-Madara
